Current Location -- Ne'rk, Uh-hi-uh
Currently Listening to -- Detektivbryan
From a very young age, I've grown up around the wee ones: Mom has been a teacher for 30+ years in myriad roles in Pickaway County, moving from MRDD to Early Intervention, and finally settling in as a preschool teacher in the Teays Valley School District. It should also be mentioned that my girlfriend worked with me at "my former place of employment" for about 2 years before accepting a position as the Education director for another museum in Ne'rk.
Now, one of the great things about working with kids is not their smiles or their endless inquiries (god no, endless inquiry gets really old after a while)...no, the best part about working with kids is that you're obviously much more intelligent with them and can mock them and tell stories to all your friends when they do something stupid. The following, is one such story, as told to Rori and I by Nathan R., art person at her museum.
Nathan is upstairs, presumably in his cubicle flirting with someone other than his fiance, entertaining the laughter and giggles of two small children (we'll call them Damien and Jezebel, because that seems fair). Despite this very museum being a great educational venue for the community, it is also the employer and networking hub for a lot of Desperate Housewives (read: Homemakers from Granville with no parenting skills whatsoever).
Sporadically, as I would assume, Nathan would go check in on Damien and Jezebel to see what they were doing and to make sure that they were not dead (in which case he would take the blame). For the first few times he check, it seemed the children were playing an innocuous game of hide and seek in the kitchen and meeting room, with Damien--age 4 approximately--hiding under the sink. Seeing that the children were not raping small animals or causing him any immediate problems, Nathan popped his collar and went back to misspelling things for the Hats Off program.
Things were going peachy keen until Jezebel came in to get Nathan, informing him that she had found something on the floor. In checking what it was, Nathan followed the trail like Theseus and the minotaur, carefully following what he thought to be unwrapped mini bars of chocolate until he happened upon a "piece of chocolate with corn in it. The following conversation ensued:
Damien : I don't know what it is
Jezebel <whispering>: I think it's poop.
Sure enough, Damien had shit himself and the excrement had subsequently decided to join in the game of hide and seek (though not very successfully). True to form, Nathan wasn't too eager to clean this up and thus called up the biggest slacker janitor on the planet in for a little Doodie Duty. Again, a humorous conversation ensued:
Porn Watching Janitor: They're your friends, you should have to clean it up.
The story gets a little muddled from this point, but I can only imagine a heated discussion ensued at this point about how nathan was none too eager to get feces (corn included), no matter how small, on his Ralph Lauren shoes and flat-front overpriced khakis. It was also assumed that the shit got cleaned up SOMEHOW. Upon conclusion of the story, we all had a hearty chuckle and went about playing with giant magnetic poetry (again, another perk of being around Children), at which point, the following sentence was created.
Other fun with magnetic poetry and a walk to McDonalds also produced these gems:
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Real Life trumps Made up Life
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